On this chilly evening, I am reminded of a roaring fire in the fireplace or in a makeshift pit while camping. I conjure mental images of the crackling, hissing and popping tree sap and I can almost feel the warmth enveloping my feet and legs. The closer I leaned into the firelight, the more I felt a near-searing of my face.

In the open night air, I can almost smell the pine of the trees and the dank earth that nourishes the pine, ponderosa and pinon.

Mixed into nature's aromas is ...

1:00 a.m. on the 10th of July 2017, and not sure why my pillow is not calling to me. It’s been another hot day (desert living) and staying indoors is the only way to survive. Of course, being trapped within the walls of the house, one becomes trapped in the walls of the mind.

I so miss my son Stafford in so many many ways…. I miss his voice, his greeting of “Hi Mom, it’s Stafford” … I miss his laughter, our many c...

Life, with all of its ups and downs, has moved on according to plan!  Three months ago, on the anniversary of Stafford's passing, that sharp stab of loss was felt again! Once more I looked into the sky and tried to find the sunlight that filled my every day! It has been dimmed considerably but, knowing I shall see my son again, I sense clouds drifiting away!

Loss is part of living ... as is birth and death ... ...

Stafford Alan Clark-Price, my "Electric Kid"...... 5 years ago today, he traveled beyond this world into eternal light and love! The world was such a beneficiary of his love and generosity! He adored being a "Storyteller" on stage and now, his legacy remains as a magnificent example of the human spirit. My heart grows larger each day with increasing love, pride and honor to have been chosen to be his Mother. His indelible mark on my life carries me through each day with the kno...

I have been a hermit for the past 4 years since losing my son to cancer! Those devastating images of his suffering haunt me every day! I too, have seen my anger rise within me, my total disgust with the times and lack of morals, integrity and compassion. I am still not ready to enter the "masses" where the majority of people are only interested in "What can you do for me." I have stopped giving and am close to not caring any longer! I can only think of joining my son who was tr...

"Mom...I just want to see forty!" Today is Stafford's fortieth day of birth and he left us 40 months ago!!

All the poems, beautiful tributes, loving passages, empathetic gestures and kind words are a part of the glue that holds the shards of my broken heart together! Every day I test the glue ..... but it has not yet dried! ......

I was Stafford's Mom, and yes, today and for many tomorrows, I will be selfish in my grief. I...

So thrilled to have "found" Clara and her two children, Sandra and Andy Tejeda. Clara and I go back to "Los Angeles years" when Stuart was born. Her wonderful husband, Mario, left us just before Stafford's passing . Neither of us knew of our losses until about a year or so ago! Since then, we have stayed in touch.

Her son Andy, was going through some of...

I firmly believe that my beautiful son, Stafford, is with me 24/7 and because of that, I do my best to honor his electric spirit by involving myself in every day activities. The most difficult thing to deal with is having no one with whom to share the wonderful memories of him. I do a lot of "living" in my head! What keeps me moving forward is my son's smile and the unselfish nature he possessed! He touched many lives....including a phenomenal impact on me! In h...

Three years ago on Dec. 8th, a fantastic human traveled beyond our feeble limits and, in my heart, I know his lifeways and contributions left many far better had he not been here for the short time that he was. He was not mine....... he was on loan and I am blessed to have been able to call him my so...

     For so many beautiful years, my silly wardrobe did not contain a shawl! I always thought that was an item of dress for an old lady, a matronly grandma, a widow or part of a dancing costume at a Pow Wow!

     Normally I would put...

The days, weeks and months have flown! I have been to Reno, Chicago, Scotland and Albuquerque since my last posting! Stafford has been by my side, in my thoughts and so heavy in my heart! I was blessed to walk the Farr Beach in Northern Scotland and hike to the Varrigh Castle of the Mackay Clan (McKee).

In reviewing the "tapes" of my Scotland visit, the most incredible experience was Stafford's Beach (Farr Beach, Bettyhill, Tongue, Scotla...

A little amazing history story:

I moved to Phoenix in 1985 where I did not know a soul and had no friends, acquaintances or connections. It was pretty scary since I also had 2 small boys with me. (That's a story by itself.)

About 10 years later, through a c...

It's late at night. . . I sit here staring at the computer screen with a myriad of thoughts coursing though my mind.  Looking at the mental images and reflections of the past year -- all the ups and downs - the phases of the heart and the seasons -- I recall the sounds of the wind and the deafening silence of the days, weeks and months and my heart experiences a kaleidoscope of emotion.  

I know he hovers around me - - I feel his spirit -- and it makes my heart ache a little more because I'm selfish! I want to hear his voice and feel his hugs - - just one more time!! What a wonderful spirit he had (has) and was such a giving person! He could make me laugh, he could make me cry, he could make me feel grateful, could make me feel important and had a unique way of validating me. He would kid me, tease me, scold me, and the...

So often I cannot wait until the sun goes down so that I can once again grab my pillow and be enveloped in conversation, laughter and hugs with Stafford. Sometimes I have to play head games with myself and "pretend" he is "across the pond" involved in a performance where there are no phones or internet and I can only wait for him to return and call me again. I have good days where I feel him ne...

On the morning of 9/11/2001, I was walking through my living room and my youngest son, Stafford, was lying on the sofa watching TV. All of a sudden, he flew off the sofa and yelled out! I abruptly stopped, turned and stared in disbelief at the TV. At first I thought it was a sick prank and couldn’t believe someone could be so twisted! The true impact of that horrific plane exploding in...

There are days I truly "grow my nails to hang on!" Those are the times when I dig way down deep into the dark recesses of my mind and heart . ...... close my eyes tightly and let mental images swirl and soar and float about in my head. With prayer and supplication, images holding "solutions" begin to form . . . if I just let myself "be."